another definite "elaine" experience

This is not one of my prouder moments, but i feel that writing about it will help me move forward and ease my mind. Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is pretty sure that the ladies at the nail salon are talking about and laughing at her? Well, that is EXACTLY how i felt at the nail salon today, and it. did. not. feel. good! :(

I was super excited for my "July mani/pedi." Summer school ended last week, and this was a wonderful way to celebrate and also get "prettied up" for my upcoming weekend in PA. So i scouted out a few places and settled on a small place that advertised a $19.99 deal for both! Perfect! Jack pot! AND it was only three blocks from my apt.

My overall experience at this Chosen Place was pleasant, aside from another customer next to me, who insisted on having her manicure done a certain, unnecessary way. I tuned her out as best as i could. I chose my pretty bubble gum pink color and all was groovy...

Until it was time to pay...

Normally, I have cash on me. But not today. So when I was asked to pay, I politely asked if i could put the tip on my credit card. No was the answer, followed up with but you can get cash from the ATM next door. Back in my single days, i would have happily obliged but, well, nowadays my husband and i are on a budget and really every dollar is important! I couldn't justify in my mind spending an additional $2.50 (most likely) on that darn ATM fee.

Now i have been told that i can be quite charming and convincing in times like these. I usually can "make things happen" for myself, and do it gracefully. I tried this.

Since this is my first time here, is there any way that i can charge the tip on my credit card just this once? (insert smile and shoulder shrug) And I'll know for the future to bring cash.

Not only did i get the cold shoulder from the store owner, I got ignored by her! She continued to look down at her magazine, even though i was a mere 4 feet away!

I started to get aggravated.

Excuse me, ma'am? MA'AAM???

She finally looked up and, well the rest is a bit of a blur... I ended up being charged an additional dollar for having used my credit card for the tip AND found out that I had been charged another dollar for something else that i had not been told would cost a thing! I spouted out some things about how i would not be coming back there and how i was shocked by the customer service and treatment i was receiving, etc...

And then i had to wait for those dang nails to dry! So i sat, tension filled, so NOT relaxed after my time at the spa...

and that's when it began... the huddle of female employees in the corner, then the laughter, and then at one point, one of them literally pointed at me!! I wanted to run for the hills!!

...but those DANG slow-drying nails!!!

So sit there, i did. Until FINALLY!! They were dry!!!

I left with the little bit of dignity that i could muster and came home feeling wiped out and sad. Elaine walked out of her salon in much the same way. I may even have some mascara smudged below my eye like her.

Relaxation attempt - FAILED!

p.s. When I told my husband this story, he so kindly replied, "honey, just so you know, in the future, you have my full support to use one of those costly atm's if it will save you aggravation like this!" :) I love him!!

waking up is hard to do-ooo

After a few months of contemplating this idea, giving it one faulty try, and talking with others about the issue, I have made the leap into morningdom. This is a feat that could not be done on my own, however. I am doing this alongside some other amazing people in my church community. We have committed to waking up at least 20 minutes earlier than normal for some intentional God-time, for the next four weeks (and beyond). Along the way, we are sharing with each other our thoughts, struggles with tiredness, and ways that God is speaking to us and through us. Day 5 is upon us and so far, so good! I'm not saying it has been "easy," but i will say that it's been worth it and the fruits of our sacrifices are already showing!

One of the first thoughts i had prior to Day 1 of this season was, "My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak." This summed me up! I so desperately wanted to start my day with God, allowing Him to "fill up" my spiritual/emotional tank each day, but I just didnt think that the sacrifice of less sleep would do me any good. I need sleep! I need rest! And, yes, this is of course true, but what i gathered from that verse (not sure where in the Bible it is) was that if i have a willing spirit, God will take care of the rest.

And He has!

In fact, this week i have had a couple of incredibly tired days. I mean, we're talking cant keep my eyes open kind of tired. And yet, even so, I have been more available to others, more alert to those around me, and have had such a strong desire and capacity to love on others. Prayers have been answered within this community, God has been bringing people into our lives to love on, and we have been receiving a vast amount of encouragement from Him.

With this incredible community and with the Holy Spirit walking with us, I fully believe that we will make it though the tough days and press on together in this journey!

weekend retreat

Well, the fog might not have lifted yet from the pathway between North America and the UK/Europe, but i am happy to report that my Thurs fog has passed! Oh to be on the other side of that dreadful day is truly a delight! My mood has improved, my motivation is strong, and my outlook on life is a positive one again. Yippee!!!!

This weekend, i will be in the Catskills with my AMAZING church community for a much-needed retreat. There will be over 30 of us, living it up in a house together. I pray that the Holy Spirit speaks to us in powerful ways as we seek to know Him and each other better. I pray for spirits of transparency and joy to fill the house. I pray for safety and good health for all of us. I pray for a spirit of renewal to come upon each of us, so that we may return to the city energized and ready to live mightily for Him. And lastly, i pray that this will be a time of CELEBRATION as we bask in the goodness and grace of Jesus.

Let the fun begin!! :)

thursdays

Thursdays. SUCH DIFFICULT DAYS TO GET THROUGH.

We're oh so close to the sweetness of Fridays but wait, we've gotta make it through this stinkin' day first. We've almost made it to the very end of the week which means that the weekend is very close by...but not here yet! So i endure. I trudge through this thursday in hopes that the lights of friday will soon be shining brightly upon me. How sweet that day will be!! Just gotta get through this one first.

Even when good things happen on Thursday (today is a perfect example of this!), its still a day that i'm excited to have behind me.

Yes, such the debbie downer i become on thursdays. Womp-womp.

walking skills

As i was walking down 14th St. this evening after work, dodging left and right the traffic of people, something occurred to me:

I was trained for these sidewalks.

That's right, i was trained, and trained well to dodge oncoming traffic and swerve past the slow pokes on the mean sidewalks of NYC. It all began in 6th grade in the hallways of my middle school. I dodged like none other! In fact, i have recollections of using my elbows to aid in weaving through the crowds. Perhaps my petite size had an impact on this. I was more easily able to maneuver my way, slipping past groups of students at a time. See, we didnt have much time to make it to our next class, and sometimes that meant heading to the other end of the school. Tough times called for tough action. And as petite was i was, i still packed a punch (or an elbow swat).

Now, let me convey that i have ceased using the elbow swat. It was useful at the time but now i fear that it would lead to much more trouble than simply a confused glance.

So nowadays, on the sidewalks of New York, i use my walking skills. I dodge, i swerve, i hustle, i even occasionally awkwardly run-walk. And these learned skills have been with me since age 12. They are put to good use on a daily basis. The feet of New Yorkers are like cars for suburban folks. They are our primary mode of transportation. So i suppose that these walking skills are like the steering wheel, the windshield wipers, and even the fuel gauge - necessities to survive. All need to be in excellent working condition.

So halls of middle schools, i do hope you are continuing to serve as the training ground for our future New Yorkers. You have certainly served me well.

early to rise

Ben and I have been in awe of his brother Joel for awhile. He wakes up so dang early, from what we can tell, every single morning! Not only that, but he is chipper at that time of day! This is something i cannot understand, having never been one to awake with a smile already on my face. Growing up, I remember snapping at my mom on several occasions because she simply would ask me a question or try to engage in a brief conversation. But it was while i was getting ready for school and thus i was not in the mood to be chatty patty. (sorry mom!)

But times they are a changin' and now i desire to make the most out of every day. Therefore, I wanted to find out from my bro-in-law what his secret was to rising AND shining at that time of day.

Joel told me that he used to have a tough time waking up early, and that he had to train his body to make the transition. He still goes to sleep at a normal to late time so he has trained himself to not need as much sleep as he was used to getting.

He likes waking up early because, as he said, this is when the people who change the world are up and out the door. I found that to be very interesting. He and Ben agreed that there was something very nice about walking around the city in the crispness of the morning. It's more quiet, more peaceful, and there's a full day to look forward to.

I asked Joel how long it took him to make the transition to morning man. One, two days?? Weeks perhaps? His response: about 6 months or so. Yikes! That's a long time! I'm not the most high functioning person when i dont get my desired amount of sleep and so the thought of being at that level for 6 months is terrifying! But would it be worth it in the long run???

This weekend, i was awake early each morning and it made for a fun, fun time. I got tired here and there but the joy of living life made it worth it. So as i ponder the words of my bro-in-law, i feel inspired to attempt the transition to this new lifestyle. I always find myself saying, "if only there was more time in the day!" Well self, there is! I just have to be awake for it.

games and drawings and colors

I love games.

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE GAMES! I find them to be so much fun and, with my husband (who's equally fond of games) at my side, we have a blast playing games together. In fact, we will find ourselves on a Saturday afternoon or after work on a weeknight playing games for hours on end. It's a stress reliever like none other and its also just such a great way to spend time together. Since we're both strong in our "quality time" love language, it works out perfectly.

We also love hosting game nights. And our motto is always, "everybody wins!" (which, if you've been to one of our game nights in the past year, you definitely know this!)

Another thing we have found ourselves doing since we got married is drawing and coloring. Yes, sounds like these activities are "for the kids" and that adults have better, perhaps "more sophisticated" things to do with their time, but frankly, it's just good, creative FUN! I am far from a "good" visual artist but even so, i rather enjoy the art of creating something (even if its simply one of my very strange looking animals that normally do not resemble at all the animal i intended to draw.) It still brings LOTS of laughter and i can still say at the end of the day that i created something! Ben feels the same way, although his animals more often than mine actually DO turn out to be what he intended them to be!

And last but not least, coloring books. Let's just say that i still get excited to help Alice and the Mad Hatter come alive in shades of blue and green and pink.

the little colorful buds

It has been such a long time since i last wrote a post. This lack of communication is for good reason - my life took an incredible turn which left me without much time to do much of anything but enjoy, plan, and live. The "budding" relationship i mentioned in one of my last posts turned into an engagement which turned into marriage! Ben asked for my hand in marriage on March 27, 2009 to which i of course reponded "yes! yes! yes!!" The next six months was devoted to wedding planning. We pulled off a glorious celebration of our love and future together with much help from our friends and family. In fact, we couldnt have done it without this help! We were incredibly humbled by the willingness of so many people to contribute their talents and time to our big day. The big day was on October 17, 2009. We felt the presence of God in such powerful ways all day long. And oh the joy!!! We were praising Him for all of his many blessings that brought us to this special day. We've now been married for over five months! Time has flown by as we have set up our life together. We have an adorable apartment and have been learning what it's like to combine our lives with someone else's. And it's been a fantastic journey!

My friend Katie pointed out in her blog that the buds on the New York City trees magically appeared yesterday. I too noticed this, along with, i am sure, most other New Yorkers. And i love it! Every year at this time, my friend Cady notices the "new green" as she calls it, that shows up on the trees. It's a bit brighter, more fresh and alive looking. It's just so refreshing to see all of these new colors appear all around me! For me, it's a sign of new possibilities on the horizon, new opportunities just around the corner, new relationships to develop... New, new, new!! Not only that, but taking the old and cultivating it to become something even better. And this makes me excited to see what new colors are going to show up in my own life and in the lives of the family and friends who i love so dearly.

It also makes me in awe of God. That He would create plants to be cyclical like this, so that we can be reminded each and every year of the hope we have and of the freshness of new seasons.

So thank you, little colorful buds! You havent even been around for a week and yet have already brought so many smiles to my face!!

just in case

I did a major cleaning/organizational sweep in my room before the new year. My room had become an organizational disaster and yet i didn't feel like i had that much stuff. What the heck was causing this overcrowding? How come i had no space to put my text books? I became confused. I became distressed. I mean, i take pride in my organizational abilities and yet here i was, failing miserably in my own apartment! For shame, for shame!

Thus, my decision to take on this end of the year project. And in tackling the problem, i began to notice a common theme among the stuff i was getting rid of.

"I've been holding on to these super old credit card statements just in case i need to refer back to them one day"

"I've been holding on to these books i got for free just in case i have time to read them one day"

"I've been holding on to this mini sewing kit (for 10 years!) just in case i 1. want to learn to sew and 2. actually need to sew"

And the list went on and on. I realized that my room had become a storage unit for "just in case" items! And they seemed small enough, but add together many "just in case" items and suddenly you have no room left for the things you actually use! This is the trap i fell into. There was no room for the stuff i really used and so those things were getting piled on my floor, and frankly it didnt look good!

I realized that the chance of me actually needing these "just in case" items was slim. And keeping them was causing the earlier-referenced confusion and distress (and oh the shame!). My mentality had to change. And i hope to impart the wisdom i gained from this experience onto you in hopes of providing relief from the organizational mess you may have found yourself in too.

Here's the logic:
Old perspective - "I'd much rather hold on to something just in case i need it, because it will save the hassle and stress of either having to purchase it again or not being able to access it at all."

New perspective - "I want to come home to an organized room! Holding on to these "little" things is causing a big mess. Living in a disorganized place has become a daily stress, more so than it would be to need one of these "just in case" items down the road. And chances are, i wont need any of those "just in case" items anyways!"

My encouragement to you is to consider what you may be holding on to "just in case." And free yourself from these chains that bind! I cant express just how much i love having SPACE for my text books and bank statements!

big umbrellas

It was a glorious day, waking up to find the ground covered in glistening white snow. A friend of mine commented about how he loves the silent sound of a snowfall. I completely agree. I love that fun surprise of finding everything looking completely different from how I saw it the night before.

Snow boots on, there was an extra spring in my step today, walking through (or should i say "crunching through") the gorgeous snow flakes.

By mid afternoon, the snow was losing its place in the city, getting replaced by rain, rain, and more rain. Snow turned to brown snow, which turned into brown slush (which caused me to lose that extra spring in my step and take a more cautious approach to walking).

And the umbrellas came out.

And i realized a major pet peeve of mine - big umbrellas. Particularly big umbrellas being carried by small to average sized people! There i was, on the sidewalk, trying to return to work after a deposit run, and found myself in a traffic jam - because of one of these big umbrellas. One umbrella took up the ENTIRE width of the sidewalk! Underneath it was a man who could not have been any bigger than 150 pounds and 5 ft 9. No need for such a large umbrella! And because of it, those of us behind him were forced to walk at his pace.

I was tempted to purchase an umbrella of a NORMAL size and give it to him. "Think of the others! You dont rule the sidewalk umbrella guy!"

oh the places we'll go (or not go to again)

Part of my morning routine includes stopping at the local deli by my office to pick up a caffeinated bottle of soda. I have joined the ranks of folks who are dependent on this lil caffeine kick in order to function as a human being in the wee hours of the morning (1oam). It's amazing how much more "alive" i feel after taking a few sips! Well yesterday, while riding the subway to work, i counted my $1.50 in change which would be used in a few minutes to purchase this delightful beverage. I went to my deli, got my soda of choice (normally it's cherry coke zero but this time it was a diet orange sunkist - also quite refreshing!), and headed to the counter, where my deli man stands every morning with a smile on his face, to complete the transaction. I handed him my change at the same time as he said, "that'll be $1.75." !!!!! What?? How can that be? i thought in great distress. So i responded with, "$1.75, really?" He said the price for bottled soda was raised the day before. ALL bottled sodas would now be $1.75. Since i had already handed him the money, and since i have proven to be a loyal customer for well over a year, he allowed me to make one last purchase for the reasonable price of $1.50. I savored that moment, took it all in - my deli man, the soda, the purchase price of $1.50. This occurrance had been a staple in my day. And upon hearing, "that'll be $1.75," i knew things would never be the same.

The question i am faced with now is: do i resist price increases that americans everywhere are having to accept and find a new place to get my soda fix, or do i stay loyal to my deli man, accept prices for what they are and keep my morning routine in tact?

Oh how i am torn! I think some good meditation and prayer is in order...

bueller? bueller?? ...laurie? laurie??

I know, it's been a loooooong time since my last posting. It has been something i've thought about and wanted to sit down and compose such a post as this for, well, months. But alas, in the words of ferris himself,

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

That pretty much sums up what i've been doing these few months - stopping to look around at life and to experience it to the fullest. It started with a concussion (no fun, no fun), moved on to a business trip to LA where i was reunited with a couple of special college friends, and then to a blossoming relationship with a great guy. This August has been weddings galore in DC, Orlando, and this weekend Seattle. My masters program for school counseling starts on Tues which will keep me occupied for the next couple years.

I am most definitely alive and kickin! Life is good. Looking forward to continuing to "live in the now"! (to quote another classic movie character) :)

shocking news - a forrest gump contradiction??

I have seen Forrest Gump many times. My friend cady and i quote it often. Perhaps one day, i'll do a post on "favorite movie blips" and share a few of the favs with you.

One reference, though, always leads me to pause and think "wait a minute..." Maybe someone can clear up confusion if it's on my end. If i raise a good point, then this blog will have served a purpose of cracking the code on one of hollywood's most beloved films. (brilliant!)

Forrest lets jenny know that he is headed to war. "They're sending me...to viet-naaam."
Jenny, worried, responds with: "Promise me somethin'. Whatever happens, dont try to be brave. Just run. Just run away."

Cut to the war scene. Forrest is brave! Forrest doesn't just run away! In fact, he runs back into battle many times to save his fellow soldiers, including bubba, which leads to one of the sweetest moments in the film. "If i had known that this would be the last time i spoke to him, i probably woulda thought of somethin' better to say... hey bubba." (awww, best-good friends are great!)

The next time forrest runs into jenny, he is in washington dc receiving the metal of honor. Upon their departure, forrest gives the metal to jenny.

"Jenny, I want you...to have this."
"I cant take your metal, forrest"
"But i got it just by doing what you told me to do."
(now this is the point when i pause and say "wait a minute..." Is it just me or did he actually do the exact opposite of what she told him?)

I'm left baffled everytime.

a definite "elaine" experience

At least once a week, my boss refers to me as the seinfeld character elaine. I think i must have some elaine tendencies. I cant exactly articulate what those are (other than my, if i must say so, exceptionally awkward, and therefore completely dead-on, version of the "elaine dance"). I recently had an experience, though, that i would characterize as "totally elaine".

Coming home from the city to my quiet apartment, i decided to stop by a restaurant to get some take-out. I chose a quaint french place nearby, decided on a salad (a big salad??) and placed my order. The hostess keyed in the order, gave me the total, and i handed her my credit card. "Oh, we actually arent taking credit cards right now." (sigh) I had cash at home, but nothing with me. Rather than heading to an ATM and throwing my money away on those dang ATM fees, i decided to change the order to delivery.

My apartment is about a 7 minute walk from this restaurant. I did my usual power walking and presumed that i would be quite a few minutes ahead of the delivery guy. So i called a friend, chatted outside and then headed into my building's lobby. I quickly noticed a delivery guy speaking to the doorman (never thought i would say i had a doorman!!), but i thought to myself "there is no way that my delivery guy would be here now!" After another couple of minutes, i figured i should check. It was indeed him! He had just left the building, and I caught him just before he was about to jump on his bike and ride away with my dinner. I apologized, which he got the gist of but didnt totally understand because of, what i would soon discover, our language barrier. He spoke NO english.

My cash was in my apt, so i gestured for him to follow me. Once in the apartment, i grabbed my money and handed him the $20. He indicated that he didnt have any change. A delivery guy with no change?!? How can that be? We tried talking to convey our points of view, but since he spoke no english, this conversation was hopeless. I stood there hoping he might give in and say (well, or gesture), "just take the food. It's my mistake that i dont have change, so go ahead and enjoy. You shouldnt be punished for my unpreparedness." No. Didn't happen. So we headed back down to see if the doorman had any change. No luck. But fortunately the guy speaking to the doorman did! He handed me 4 five's, 3 of which i gave to the delivery guy.

My salad cost around $11.50. So in my attempt to avoid the scam of an ATM fee, i spent about $3 more than i would have spent had i given in and paid the fee! (double sigh!) But that's not the end...

As i said "au revoir" to my (actually spanish) delivery guy, i received a call from the french restaurant. "We have a delivery guy there trying to get your food to you. He's been waiting for a long time. What's going on??" I finally got a word in and explained that the food/money exchange had just taken place. The woman sounded very annoyed about the whole situation. I have a strong feeling that my face and apt number will not be leaving their memories anytime soon, which means that my days of enjoying delicious french cuisine are probably over. It was a good run. I did enjoy the "big salad," with the exception of the anchovies.

But like elaine, i may try to beat the system by creating a new apartment number using the trash room across the hall.

thank you dream!

It has been brought to my attention that i have been majorly slacking on my blog the past few weeks.  And with the lingering of my last post, i wanted to make it clear that i am alive and doing quite well, having survived the tick-tock of the clock as it moved me into this "dreaded year"... and to be honest, so far so good!  It's not so bad afterall.  I am embracing this age, taking ahold of it and trying to own it as much as mrs. bedazzled "owned" her tacky sweater (but rest assured, i have no desire to actually own one of those sweaters).  In fact, to my surprise, i recently had a moment of complete thankfulness about being this age.

It was brought on by a dream.  A dream that was brought on by a conversation i had with my coworker and boss which involved me swimming across the hudson from ny to jersey, which i have never done.  Yes, this conversation sounds rather odd and it lasted a good 3-5 minutes! (note references in prior posts to my "crazy" office.)  So that night, i dreamt that i was about to embark on a journey similar to this "hudson-cross," except i am not completely sure that it was in fact the hudson i was crossing.  The water in my dream did have quite a murky look to it, and made me question what i was jumping into and why the heck i was jumping into it.  I'll say this - it certainly wasn't the mediterranean!  So for posting purposes, we'll call it the hudson.  I had a backpack which must have been filled with the necessary "river swim" equipment, and i was saying good-bye to my good friends megan and joel, who were bidding me adieu from the dock.  (M&J, please never allow me to swim in any kind of hudson-like river in real life, let alone travel to jersey! -just a little joke, jersey folks.)  As i was about to make the jump into the water and begin my swim, M&J wished me a happy birthday.  This birthday they were referring to was the one i will have a year from now.  I was turning yet another year older!  With backpack in hand, i jumped... and sunk, rather far down that i found myself panicked that i wouldn't make it to the surface in time to take my next much-needed breath of air.  Feeling more nervous, i picked up the pace to swim to the surface.  This was no easy task since i was being weighed down by my backpack... but i made it to the surface in time! And then i heard scott & todd in the morning blasting from my radio and realized that it had all been a dream.  And for that moment, after having felt like i was even a year older than i am, i was incredibly thankful, and proud, to be my actual, so-called "dreaded" age.