loneliness

I am taking a Group Counseling class this semester. It is a required class for my School Counseling grad school program. The class is fascinating! And so is the text book. Thankfully, my husband finds the subject of counseling about as interesting as i do because when i read this book, i often turn to him every few minutes saying, "you've gotta hear this!" It's Good Stuff.

The author, Irvin D. Yalom talks about some common, universal issues that people struggle with. Loneliness is one of these. He indicates that virtually everyone has feelings of loneliness, and that this can often lead to depression, anxiety, etc. I certainly have dealt with loneliness, even at times when no one would suspect it. I would have thought that living in New York, being surrounded by people ALL the time from the sidewalks to the subways would keep us New Yorkers from feeling lonely. In actuality, it seems to perpetuate it even more.

New York is filled with people. People on the go. People on bikes. People asking for money. People with big strollers and umbrellas (that often dominate the sidewalks and drive me nuts!, as i mentioned here). And yet it is extremely rare to cross paths unexpectedly with someone you know. We are virtually all strangers, living in proximity, sharing common modes of transportation, but yet very disconnected from each other. Thus, it can be even more lonesome in a big city because it is easy to romanticize about the life of a bustling passerby, and therefore assume that he or she is doing "just fine" while you are not.

Yet the reality is that that person we pass who appears to be "just fine" is very likely making the same judgment about us! All the while, no one is really "just fine."

I think there is such a healing power in knowing that we are not alone when it comes to some of these universal struggles.

So here I go, opening up, sharing more truth:

Do i feel lonely all the time? No.

Have i gone through seasons of loneliness? Absolutely.

Do i occasionally find myself struggling with feeling lonely? Of course.

To take it one step further, i believe that this void in our hearts will not be completely filled until we are reunited with our Maker in Heaven, which will ultimately satisfy the desires of our hearts. He is what our hearts ultimately long for, to be in community with Him, and when that day comes our loneliness will forever dissipate. Until that time, there is no getting around it. We will feel lonely and discontented, not always but some of the time (and perhaps for some, a lot of the time).

In the meantime, i have found comfort in knowing that loneliness is indeed a universal issue. We are not alone in feeling alone!! I pray that people may find rest in this fact. And that perhaps the walls we put up in order to protect ourselves may come down, so we can better know and care for one another. For me, this discovery is a freeing one! It also keeps me from prejudging those i pass and instead moves me to pray for them, their day, their heart, the struggles they have.

So as i strive to become more transparent, i hope that through this post, someone out there might feel a little less alone today.