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Monday, September 20, 2010

bad day

In an attempt to be transparent on here, I would like to share that I am having a bad day. Nothing in particular is getting me down per se, but I am simply having one of those days where I feel down. And the truth is that I am giving myself a hard time for this because circumstances tell me that life is good! The sun is shining, I am blessed beyond belief with my wonderful husband, family, church family, and the list goes on and on... As I write that, i recognize how silly it is to get frustrated with myself for not feeling a certain way because of my circumstances. There's no long term substance or grounding there. Circumstances are fleeting, as are emotions. And if i look to them for my source of happiness and fulfillment, i too will be all over the map. So i turn to God. But there has been some strange distance between Him and me lately. Not a "do i believe" kind of distance at all! Rather, it's been one of those seasons where I truly have to rely on what I know to be TRUTH because the feelings are not consistent. Which is a good season to have because it reminds me of how fleeting feelings and emotions really are.

To sum it up, I will allow myself to have this bad day, accepting where i'm at without over-analyzing it (which sometimes is oh so tempting to do!).

I will, though, take captive these negative thoughts (which i know are NOT true at all), call them out, and replace them with TRUTH. If I am going to have a bad day, let me at least eliminate what i know to be false.

Truth: I am a child of God. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by Him. He DIED for me! Even if i had been the ONLY person on earth, He still would have died...for ME! I, then, (clearly!) have value. I have worth. God told me so.

2 comments:

Christina said...

Laurie~ thank you for sharing. I have bad days too and when I think about my situations and overwhelmed by how blessed I am. With that being said, i still have bad days and days i go to bed at 8 and look forward to waking up to a fresh new day. I hope tomorrow is a better day and i am really looking forward to coming and visiting you sometime (probably after elena born)!!!!

Ben and Laurie said...

thanks christina! :) you're always welcome to visit! i'm certainly looking forward to meeting elena one day!!